Pre-Birth Order (PBO)
A court proceeding that establishes parental rights prior to the birth of the child. PBOs are only available in certain states. In other states, it may be possible to obtain a post-birth order.
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LGBTQ+ Intended Parents
Become an LGBTQIA+ Parent
We were founded by a gay man who aspired to have his own family. From his personal experience, and the decades following of supporting gay, queer and trans parents, we have developed strategic programs and partnerships focused on environmental and cultural needs of the LGBTQIA+ community.
Overview of Gay Surrogacy
Promise Surrogacy has been helping the LGBTQIA+ community become parents since 1995. Promise was founded by Marcus Ellison, a lawyer and gay father who built his family through surrogacy. We bring an immense amount of experience to surrogacy, which by nature is a very complicated process.
How Promise Can Help
A tremendous amount of coordination and planning goes into a surrogacy journey, as well as legal contracts. Promise works with intended parents each and every day. We are surrogacy experts so you don't have to be.
Why It Matters
Surrogacy is the only family-building option that allows LGBTQIA+ individuals and couples to have biological children. It's a process that requires medical and legal expertise, as well as strong emotional support throughout the journey.
How Does It Work?
Through IVF, embryos are created in a lab at a fertility clinic, using the gay intended parents' biology and that of a donor. At the fertility clinic, 1-2 embryos are implanted into a gestational carrier, who carries the baby(ies) to term. In gestational surrogacy, the surrogate has no genetic relationship to the child or children they carry.
Trans Intended Parents
Promise is proud to be an ally to those in the transgender and non-binary communities. We have lawyers who are experts in surrogacy law for the LGBTQIA+ community and understand the nuances of this process for prospective parents. We understand that while members of the trans and non-binary community may be biologically able to have a child, it may not be the safest or most suitable option, and we want to lend our support and expertise in surrogacy to help make having a child a reality. We will work to provide a comfortable and safe environment throughout your surrogacy journey.
If you have questions about parenthood as a trans individual, please fill out our parent form to be connected to an experienced parent intake associate.
What to Look For in a Surrogacy Agency
Finding the right agency match is an important first step in your surrogacy journey. In our experience, intended parents prefer an agency that has not only professional experience about the surrogacy process, but also expertise in supporting the LGBTQIA+ community.
Promise understands some of the fears all of our intended parents may have, as well as the additional concerns and questions that accompany a surrogacy journey for LGBTQIA+ parents. Some common questions we receive from intended parents as they start to explore surrogacy are:
- How will my children fare with two dads or two moms?
- Will my children be missing out on something because the family dynamic is different?
- How and when do I tell my children about their origin story?
- How do you support the LGBTQIA+ community during the surrogacy?
These are important questions for you to ask upfront to help determine the right agency match. You can feel confident knowing that the Promise team has over three decades of experience supporting the LGBTQIA+ community, and at any time can connect you to gay parents through surrogacy who can share their personal stories.
The following criteria can be used to determine if an agency is the right fit for you:
1. Ability to Protect Your Rights
2. Experience Working With LGBTQIA+ Individuals
Promise was founded by a lawyer and gay dad through surrogacy. We're not only able to provide thoughtful answers to the questions outlined above, but our lawyers are experienced in the legal rights of the LGBTQIA+ community and stay educated as the laws change. Each state and country has specific laws and regulations for LGBTQIA+ intended parents. Working with an agency that has this level of expertise in both social work and law helps to ensure a positive and successful journey for you that you'll only find with Promise.
3. Partnership and Support Throughout the Entirety of Your Journey
Promise provides the resources of a larger agency, including full-service support throughout your journey. Promise employs accountants, program managers, lawyers and mental health professionals all under one (virtual) roof, which allows you to have their journeys managed by one team at one agency, eliminating the need for third parties.
Surrogacy Requirements for LGBTQIA+ Parents
Intended parent requirements are put in place to ensure as successful a journey as possible for all parties involved. With each journey, Promise is not only guiding and supporting you and your surrogate, we are also focusing on what is best for your future baby.
We consider the following criteria when evaluating intended parents for our program and clinic partners:
- Intended parents should have a strong support system in place. In addition to your partner (if you have one), having others in your friends, family and community who know about your journey and support you.
- Parents should meet agency guidelines for parents, which include age requirements and an openness to a relationship with your surrogate.
If you have questions about specific requirements, we encourage you to fill out our parent form to connect with a Parent Intake Associate.
Finding an Egg Donor
Should you need an egg donor to grow your family, our team is ready to provide guidance and support. Promise offers an in-house egg donor database of thoroughly screened fresh donors and maintains trusted partnerships with third-party agencies and clinics if you prefer a frozen donor or are seeking options beyond our donor pool.
LGBTQIA+ Surrogacy Laws
Although surrogacy for heterosexual intended parents and same-sex intended parents is largely similar, there are a few factors that make it different. It's important to understand your rights as parents and what the surrogacy laws are in your state or country and in the state in which your surrogate resides.
As part of your surrogacy journey with Promise, you will be supported by a lawyer from our experienced legal team. Our lawyers are passionate about family building and have professional experience in the legalities for surrogacy for LGBTQIA+ couples and singles.
Common Legal Procedures for Gay Parenting
When it is time to establish your parental rights, you'll require the services of a lawyer who is experienced in surrogacy and Assisted Reproductive Technology (ART). Promise's full legal staff have the experience necessary to support LGBTQIA+ intended parents during this critical process.
Voluntary Acknowledgement of Paternity
Allows a birth mother to designate a father, sometimes without the need for a court proceeding.
Custody Order
Grants custody of a child to the intended parent(s).
Second-Parent Adoption
Permanently establishes the non-biological parent's rights to the child. It's advisable to obtain a second-parent adoption. Even when it is possible to obtain a pre-birth order or a post-birth order, parents should know that not all states recognize parentage conferred in this way. By contrast, adoptions are recognized nationwide.
Wills and Estate Planning
Ensures that guardianship of the child is provided for in the event of the death of one or both parents. When a gay couple lives in a state or country where same-sex marriage isn't legal, it becomes even more important to establish these documents.
Legally Match With a Surrogate Who's Right for You
Our Matching Specialists have successfully matched thousands of intended parents and surrogates. The relationship between a surrogate and intended parents is one that should be nurtured, deepening through the duration of the journey. Promise matches parents and surrogates based on three criteria, the first of which is legal fit. Ensuring that your surrogate lives in a state in which you'll be able to safely and securely establish your parental rights is crucial for a successful journey.
Financial Assistance for Surrogacy
Promise is committed to providing surrogacy support to as many intended parents as possible. To help offset the costs of surrogacy, Promise provides exclusive financial assistance opportunities to our LGBTQIA+ intended parents.
Through a long-standing partnership with Men Having Babies , Promise offers the following discounts for parents:
- GPAP Stage II - One pro bono Agency Service(s) per year GPAP Stage I - 30%. Annual quota: 4 cases per year
- Membership Benefits Program (MBP): $1,000 off Gestational Surrogacy program
You can learn more about these financial aids and additional financing options , by filling out a form and connecting with a Parent Intake Associate.
Community Support for LGBTQIA+ Parents
Promise Surrogacy is committed to providing best-in-class support and understanding of the cultural and environmental needs of our LGBTQIA+ community.
Since 1995, we've been partnering with various LGBTQ+ organizations, including:
